a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”
This tree makes の sense.
get the fuck out of here you clever little shit
(Source: meme4u)
why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom
because the P is silent
(Source: barbershopping)
why is peter pan always flying?
he neverlands
I love this joke because it never grows old
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
do catholics fail trigonometry because they’re afraid of sin
do irish people fail trigonometry because they can’t tan
does everyone else fail trigonometry just cos
This bothers me.
why? orange you glad it isnt a banana?
god fucking damn it
(Source: nintendo420)
barackinaroundthechristmastree:
barackinaroundthechristmastree:
what do you call someone without a body or a nose?
nobody knows
(Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight)
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”
